Today let's discuss some answers to the following question: "When is it too late for people to change?"
You know, there are a lot of people out there who believe that it's never too late to change, and in general, I'm one of them. I certainly believe that positive change can be achieved at any and every age, and in just about every human condition.
Now, I believe this because I've seen it happen over and over again. There simply is no upper limit to the age at which people can choose to grow and change. But there's a catch to believing it's never too late, and that's what bothers me a bit.
If you believe that no matter when you start out you will never be too late, it can lead to chronic procrastination. Change becomes something that's always down the road, always in the future, always something you are going to do someday. But you know, there is one thing that waiting until tomorrow will make you too late for, and that's the fullness of life today.
Just think about it. Every time you make a positive change in your life, it leads you to doors of opportunity and well-being that you couldn't even see before you made the change. It also enables you to make other changes more quickly and easily. And it's not just you reaping the benefits - it is everyone with whom you come into contact.
So you see, while it may never be too late to begin, the sooner you begin the greater your opportunity for gain.
Monday, March 22, 2010
Thursday, March 18, 2010
Are You A Self-fulfilling Prophecy?
Do you ever catch yourself saying things like, "Nothing ever goes right for me?" If so, pay close attention to what I have to say today.
Do you think that nothing ever goes right for you? Do you believe that you are just an unlucky person, and that no matter what you do, you will probably fail?
Well, you are right, but not for the reason you think. We've been talking about beliefs for about a week now. You have probably surmised that each one of us has a set of beliefs, and we act in accordance with those beliefs.
Now, perhaps you had a few setbacks that you were taught to interpret as failures. Next thing you know, you have a belief about yourself that says, "I just can't succeed, no matter what."
Then, in order to make life match up with your belief (which is important for your sanity), you begin to act in ways that reinforce your belief. You may even unconsciously sabotage things, so that you will fail. But you will be acting like you know yourself to be, which is what all of us do. You create what is called a self-fulfilling prophecy.
So if you want to change your life, what you need to do is first change your beliefs. And yes, this is possible. Then, you will continue to act like yourself, but you will see yourself differently, so your behavior will be different. And when you change your behavior, you change the results.
Do you think that nothing ever goes right for you? Do you believe that you are just an unlucky person, and that no matter what you do, you will probably fail?
Well, you are right, but not for the reason you think. We've been talking about beliefs for about a week now. You have probably surmised that each one of us has a set of beliefs, and we act in accordance with those beliefs.
Now, perhaps you had a few setbacks that you were taught to interpret as failures. Next thing you know, you have a belief about yourself that says, "I just can't succeed, no matter what."
Then, in order to make life match up with your belief (which is important for your sanity), you begin to act in ways that reinforce your belief. You may even unconsciously sabotage things, so that you will fail. But you will be acting like you know yourself to be, which is what all of us do. You create what is called a self-fulfilling prophecy.
So if you want to change your life, what you need to do is first change your beliefs. And yes, this is possible. Then, you will continue to act like yourself, but you will see yourself differently, so your behavior will be different. And when you change your behavior, you change the results.
Friday, March 12, 2010
Does Life Have To Be A Struggle?
Do you believe that you have to fight for what you get in life? Were you taught that life is, first and foremost, an unending struggle?
Whenever I feel a sense of struggle, of pressure tempting me to react with anxiety or even panic, I hear my inner voice ask, "How would you be seeing or doing this differently, if you were willing to let it be easy?"
As I consider an easier way to approach the situation, a sense of peace and freedom comes over me. From this perspective, I can usually see the way out. Many of us have been imprinted with the belief that life is a struggle. We have to work hard to earn a living and support ourselves and our families, and that suffering and sacrifice buy happiness. But, none of this is true.
The glory of life is to live in graceful celebration, and to enjoy peace requires no loss whatsoever. Life is here to be enjoyed and appreciated. Struggle is a sure sign that you are moving against your blessings. Peace is not a victory we can ever win by battle. If you are fighting for anything, you are at war. Peace is a natural gift from God that we accept by opening our hearts and letting go of the struggle.
When Albert Einstein was asked, "What is the most important question facing humankind?" he answered with another question: "Is the universe a friendly place?"
Well, it is. Now all we have to do is act like it.
Whenever I feel a sense of struggle, of pressure tempting me to react with anxiety or even panic, I hear my inner voice ask, "How would you be seeing or doing this differently, if you were willing to let it be easy?"
As I consider an easier way to approach the situation, a sense of peace and freedom comes over me. From this perspective, I can usually see the way out. Many of us have been imprinted with the belief that life is a struggle. We have to work hard to earn a living and support ourselves and our families, and that suffering and sacrifice buy happiness. But, none of this is true.
The glory of life is to live in graceful celebration, and to enjoy peace requires no loss whatsoever. Life is here to be enjoyed and appreciated. Struggle is a sure sign that you are moving against your blessings. Peace is not a victory we can ever win by battle. If you are fighting for anything, you are at war. Peace is a natural gift from God that we accept by opening our hearts and letting go of the struggle.
When Albert Einstein was asked, "What is the most important question facing humankind?" he answered with another question: "Is the universe a friendly place?"
Well, it is. Now all we have to do is act like it.
Friday, March 5, 2010
The Power Of Your Beliefs
Do you realize how important your beliefs are? There is no more powerful directing force in human behavior than belief. The people who have changed history - Columbus, Einstein, Edison, Christ, Mohammed, and others like them - have been the people who have changed our beliefs. In many ways, the power that beliefs have over our lives defies the logical models most of us have. However, it is clear that powerful beliefs can affect us in equally powerful ways.
Studies conducted by Dr. Andrew Weil, a Harvard educated physician, have shown that the experiences of drug users correspond almost exactly to their expectations. People who were given sedatives, but were told that they were stimulants, behaved as if stimulated. People who were given stimulants, but were told that they were sedatives, behaved as if sedated.
When you were a child, you didn't have much choice about your beliefs. Now that you are grown, it is a different story. So ask yourself, "What do I choose to believe? Do I choose beliefs that limit or support me? Do my beliefs turn on or shut off possibilities? Do they move me toward failure or success?"
Studies conducted by Dr. Andrew Weil, a Harvard educated physician, have shown that the experiences of drug users correspond almost exactly to their expectations. People who were given sedatives, but were told that they were stimulants, behaved as if stimulated. People who were given stimulants, but were told that they were sedatives, behaved as if sedated.
When you were a child, you didn't have much choice about your beliefs. Now that you are grown, it is a different story. So ask yourself, "What do I choose to believe? Do I choose beliefs that limit or support me? Do my beliefs turn on or shut off possibilities? Do they move me toward failure or success?"
Thursday, March 4, 2010
Who Do You Believe?
How many of your beliefs about yourself were put there by others who may have been well-meaning, but mistaken? Do you believe that you just don't have what it takes to succeed in life - that you are not smart enough, strong enough or capable enough to achieve much?
If so, where did you originally get those beliefs? It could very well be from adults who gave you, when you were very young, their opinions about you. And because these people were your authorities, you took in these beliefs and made them your own.
But, did you know that many successful people have had similar beliefs programmed into them, and have gone on to prove them wrong?
In his early years, Albert Einstein was a poor student who was called mentally slow and unsociable. Abraham Lincoln's teachers described him as a daydreamer who asked foolish questions. Thomas Edison was called a hopeless case when he was seven years old. His teacher described him as "addled" and said it would be useless for him to continue in school. All of these people came to realize that authority figures were not the determiners of their destiny. Rather, they themselves were. And there are thousands, if not millions, of these stories!
So, if you are being held back because of beliefs you got early in life, ask yourself whether it might be worthwhile to throw them out and replace them with others that will serve you better.
If so, where did you originally get those beliefs? It could very well be from adults who gave you, when you were very young, their opinions about you. And because these people were your authorities, you took in these beliefs and made them your own.
But, did you know that many successful people have had similar beliefs programmed into them, and have gone on to prove them wrong?
In his early years, Albert Einstein was a poor student who was called mentally slow and unsociable. Abraham Lincoln's teachers described him as a daydreamer who asked foolish questions. Thomas Edison was called a hopeless case when he was seven years old. His teacher described him as "addled" and said it would be useless for him to continue in school. All of these people came to realize that authority figures were not the determiners of their destiny. Rather, they themselves were. And there are thousands, if not millions, of these stories!
So, if you are being held back because of beliefs you got early in life, ask yourself whether it might be worthwhile to throw them out and replace them with others that will serve you better.
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
Is It Too Late To Change You!
When is it too late to change? If you get off to a bad start, can you still
turn things around when you are an adult?
If you're in trouble all the time when you're a kid, a teenager, and even as
a young adult, do you think there is any hope that you will straighten out
your life when you get to be 30 or 40? According to findings from two of the
longest, ongoing research studies in the nation, many people have an amazing
capacity for change throughout life.
For example, at the age of 32, "Stan" seemed destined for failure. Abandoned
at birth by his father, and orphaned at the age of three when his mother
died, "Stan" dropped out of school in the 8th grade, became an alcoholic,
and served prison time for rape and vagrancy in his 20's and early 30's.
But 15 years later, against all odds, "Stan" had turned his life around.
When researchers checked in with him at age 47, he was sober and happily
married, had an adopted son he doted on, and owned a trucking business and a
house.
The studies point out that Stan's story is far from unique. They tell us
that we have the capacity to change our circumstances - no matter how old we
are, and no matter how difficult our early experiences were.
So, don't give up on yourself, and please don't listen to anyone who says it
is too late to change. If you really want to, and I mean "want to" improve
your life - if you are willing to alter your beliefs and your behavior - you
can do it. It all starts with changing that internal picture of who you
"know" you are.
turn things around when you are an adult?
If you're in trouble all the time when you're a kid, a teenager, and even as
a young adult, do you think there is any hope that you will straighten out
your life when you get to be 30 or 40? According to findings from two of the
longest, ongoing research studies in the nation, many people have an amazing
capacity for change throughout life.
For example, at the age of 32, "Stan" seemed destined for failure. Abandoned
at birth by his father, and orphaned at the age of three when his mother
died, "Stan" dropped out of school in the 8th grade, became an alcoholic,
and served prison time for rape and vagrancy in his 20's and early 30's.
But 15 years later, against all odds, "Stan" had turned his life around.
When researchers checked in with him at age 47, he was sober and happily
married, had an adopted son he doted on, and owned a trucking business and a
house.
The studies point out that Stan's story is far from unique. They tell us
that we have the capacity to change our circumstances - no matter how old we
are, and no matter how difficult our early experiences were.
So, don't give up on yourself, and please don't listen to anyone who says it
is too late to change. If you really want to, and I mean "want to" improve
your life - if you are willing to alter your beliefs and your behavior - you
can do it. It all starts with changing that internal picture of who you
"know" you are.
Confidence vs. Self Esteem
Confidence and self-esteem are not the same thing, you know. It is entirely possible to appear confident in front of others without having much in the way of self-esteem. Lots of people do it, and some of them are quite famous.
You see, the confidence is just a front, a clever pose - an act. It's like a cake that is made of nothing but icing. It looks solid, but when you cut into it, you find there is nothing of real substance inside.
People with a confident front but low self-esteem are plagued with
self-doubt when they are alone. They know they are frauds and live in fear of being discovered. Often, they'll turn to alcohol or drugs to help them maintain the illusion, or they'll surround themselves with people whose only function is to make them look good.
On the other hand, when you have high self-esteem, genuine confidence just naturally follows. Nothing can make you insecure because your security comes from inside. You are not afraid to make a mistake because you believe in your overall competence, and you know that mistakes are just another way to learn.
When your self-esteem is high, you can deal with every situation honestly, and you can express your true feelings, including fear, sadness and anger, without worrying about how you look to others.
Confidence is a great feeling, but if it's the real thing you are after, you must build it from the inside out.
You see, the confidence is just a front, a clever pose - an act. It's like a cake that is made of nothing but icing. It looks solid, but when you cut into it, you find there is nothing of real substance inside.
People with a confident front but low self-esteem are plagued with
self-doubt when they are alone. They know they are frauds and live in fear of being discovered. Often, they'll turn to alcohol or drugs to help them maintain the illusion, or they'll surround themselves with people whose only function is to make them look good.
On the other hand, when you have high self-esteem, genuine confidence just naturally follows. Nothing can make you insecure because your security comes from inside. You are not afraid to make a mistake because you believe in your overall competence, and you know that mistakes are just another way to learn.
When your self-esteem is high, you can deal with every situation honestly, and you can express your true feelings, including fear, sadness and anger, without worrying about how you look to others.
Confidence is a great feeling, but if it's the real thing you are after, you must build it from the inside out.
Accepting Your Feelings
If you believe in the value of positive thinking, what do you do with your feelings that are not so positive?
It's a great thing to be a positive thinker, but sometimes we confuse the desire to think positively with the need to deny our feelings. Have you ever felt sad or angry about something and then rejected that feeling because you believe that it's best to look on the bright side of life?
This can happen very easily, but I want you to know that when we are
thinking positively, we are never denying our feelings. Now, I'm not saying that you should hold on to feelings that are causing you discomfort or pain; on the contrary, it's important to let go of them. But we can't let go of a feeling until we know what it is.
A feeling needs to be acknowledged and looked at before we can release it. To deny feelings is to see a legitimate part of our self as unworthy or without value, and the very act of denial serves only to chip away at our sense of self-esteem. Besides, feelings that are denied don't go away. Instead, they go underground and show up as illness or unconscious behavior that inevitably causes trouble.
You know, you can accept all of your feelings no matter what they are, but you don't have to act on them or continue to hold on to those that may be in your way. Accepting and acknowledging your feelings in a patient and thoughtful way is the first step to gaining control over them, while denying and repressing them is a sure way to give them control over you.
It's a great thing to be a positive thinker, but sometimes we confuse the desire to think positively with the need to deny our feelings. Have you ever felt sad or angry about something and then rejected that feeling because you believe that it's best to look on the bright side of life?
This can happen very easily, but I want you to know that when we are
thinking positively, we are never denying our feelings. Now, I'm not saying that you should hold on to feelings that are causing you discomfort or pain; on the contrary, it's important to let go of them. But we can't let go of a feeling until we know what it is.
A feeling needs to be acknowledged and looked at before we can release it. To deny feelings is to see a legitimate part of our self as unworthy or without value, and the very act of denial serves only to chip away at our sense of self-esteem. Besides, feelings that are denied don't go away. Instead, they go underground and show up as illness or unconscious behavior that inevitably causes trouble.
You know, you can accept all of your feelings no matter what they are, but you don't have to act on them or continue to hold on to those that may be in your way. Accepting and acknowledging your feelings in a patient and thoughtful way is the first step to gaining control over them, while denying and repressing them is a sure way to give them control over you.
Happiness Is A Choice
How many happy people do you know? Would you count yourself among them? If you are like most folks, happiness is something you'd like to feel, but it's also something that you see as being "out there" in the future somewhere.
Now, if you've ever spent much time around a truly happy person, you may have noticed that their mood comes not from what's going on around them, but from what's going on inside them. They have a way of looking at life that doesn't ignore the negative things but doesn't focus on them, either.
Instead, they give the lion's share of their attention to finding things to
enjoy and appreciate. They have no trouble finding them, either. Every day, no matter where they are or what they're doing, they find things to laugh about, to celebrate, and to praise.
You know, it's an interesting fact of life that what you see is mostly what you look for. Our brains are designed to help us notice that which we have decided is important, and ignore or even blind ourselves to that which is irrelevant.
So if you make up your mind to be happy no matter what happens to you, you'll be amazed by all the things you never noticed before that bring you a smile or a laugh or a moment of joy. Most happy people weren't born that way. At some point, they made a conscious or unconscious choice to enjoy their lives, right here and right now.
What do you suppose would happen if you made the same choice, starting today?
Now, if you've ever spent much time around a truly happy person, you may have noticed that their mood comes not from what's going on around them, but from what's going on inside them. They have a way of looking at life that doesn't ignore the negative things but doesn't focus on them, either.
Instead, they give the lion's share of their attention to finding things to
enjoy and appreciate. They have no trouble finding them, either. Every day, no matter where they are or what they're doing, they find things to laugh about, to celebrate, and to praise.
You know, it's an interesting fact of life that what you see is mostly what you look for. Our brains are designed to help us notice that which we have decided is important, and ignore or even blind ourselves to that which is irrelevant.
So if you make up your mind to be happy no matter what happens to you, you'll be amazed by all the things you never noticed before that bring you a smile or a laugh or a moment of joy. Most happy people weren't born that way. At some point, they made a conscious or unconscious choice to enjoy their lives, right here and right now.
What do you suppose would happen if you made the same choice, starting today?
You Are What You Think!!!!
What is the one thing that determines, more than anything else, the quality
of your life?
Some people say, "You are what you eat," but I say, "You are what you
think." Now, this is not really "new" news. This is one of the great
universal truths, handed down over the centuries by poets and philosophers
and by almost every great religious leader the world has ever known.
We move toward and become like that which we think about, and our present
thoughts, more than anything else, determine our future. So it is important
to learn to control your thoughts because if you can do that, you'll be
taking control of your life as well.
And how do you control your thoughts? Well, you learn to monitor yourself by
listening to the stream of inner messages that precede your emotions. Then,
you ask yourself if some of these thoughts are other people's ideas that may
not really be true.
You look for distortions, exaggerations, and other misrepresentations, and
you deliberately correct them - on the spot - to a more realistic viewpoint.
Finally, you choose to put the best possible slant on every situation, every
event, and every occurrence.
I believe that because your present thoughts determine your future, when you
consistently expect the best, you tend to get it!
of your life?
Some people say, "You are what you eat," but I say, "You are what you
think." Now, this is not really "new" news. This is one of the great
universal truths, handed down over the centuries by poets and philosophers
and by almost every great religious leader the world has ever known.
We move toward and become like that which we think about, and our present
thoughts, more than anything else, determine our future. So it is important
to learn to control your thoughts because if you can do that, you'll be
taking control of your life as well.
And how do you control your thoughts? Well, you learn to monitor yourself by
listening to the stream of inner messages that precede your emotions. Then,
you ask yourself if some of these thoughts are other people's ideas that may
not really be true.
You look for distortions, exaggerations, and other misrepresentations, and
you deliberately correct them - on the spot - to a more realistic viewpoint.
Finally, you choose to put the best possible slant on every situation, every
event, and every occurrence.
I believe that because your present thoughts determine your future, when you
consistently expect the best, you tend to get it!
Choose Happiness
Has anyone ever told you it was wrong to feel proud of yourself or to be too happy?
What is bad about feeling good? Nothing at all, if you ask me. But there are some people who will try to get you to believe that you shouldn't be too happy. They will tell you things like, "Pride goes before a fall," or "Who are you to feel so good when there is so much misery in the world," or even "If you show too much happiness, you are only tempting Fate to step in and slap you down." They will say they are only telling you these things for your own good, and they will try to make you feel guilty if things go too well for you.
Now, they are not lying to you. They really believe that what they are telling you is the truth. But I want you to know that this is "their" truth, not "the" truth. And, I want to suggest to you that it is a good idea to avoid people who try to rain on your parade.
You don't have to live in a perfect world or be a perfect person to be happy. The time to be happy is now, the place to be happy is here, and the reasons to be happy are all around you. If you take a moment to look for them, they will be there.
Happiness is a choice you make, not something that happens to you. When you choose to be happy, you become a light in the world and a source of comfort and inspiration. What is so good about feeling bad? Not a single thing I can think of. Why not choose happiness for yourself, and why not start today?!
What is bad about feeling good? Nothing at all, if you ask me. But there are some people who will try to get you to believe that you shouldn't be too happy. They will tell you things like, "Pride goes before a fall," or "Who are you to feel so good when there is so much misery in the world," or even "If you show too much happiness, you are only tempting Fate to step in and slap you down." They will say they are only telling you these things for your own good, and they will try to make you feel guilty if things go too well for you.
Now, they are not lying to you. They really believe that what they are telling you is the truth. But I want you to know that this is "their" truth, not "the" truth. And, I want to suggest to you that it is a good idea to avoid people who try to rain on your parade.
You don't have to live in a perfect world or be a perfect person to be happy. The time to be happy is now, the place to be happy is here, and the reasons to be happy are all around you. If you take a moment to look for them, they will be there.
Happiness is a choice you make, not something that happens to you. When you choose to be happy, you become a light in the world and a source of comfort and inspiration. What is so good about feeling bad? Not a single thing I can think of. Why not choose happiness for yourself, and why not start today?!
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